Come On,
Marky
A memoir in recursive time
The clinic wanted the number.He kept the reasoning.
In 1967 an eleven-year-old boy in Montréal was handed insulin, a glass syringe and a notebook, and told to write down his blood sugar. Within days he was writing down more than that: what he had eaten, what he had predicted beforehand, whether the prediction held.
This is his sixtieth year with Type 1 diabetes, and the notebook habit never stopped. Come On, Marky is the story of that record and of what turned out to be in it.
A chart holds outcomes — the glucose value, the dose, the lab result. It does not hold the thinking that produced them. Every patient generates that layer every day, and nearly all of it is thrown away. The datasets now being used to train clinical artificial intelligence have the same hole in them. The machines are learning from what was left over.
That is the argument. The book makes it in scenes, because scenes are the only place it exists. A boy admitted at 425 mg/dL. A men's room in Montréal a year later, where a stranger walks in mid-injection and turns out to have been taking the same shot since 1928. A misjudged meal in Chinatown that produces a number telling the truth and explaining nothing. Decades of margin notes no clinician ever asked to see. And the death of a son, where the book stops being about data.
What I expected to happen before I dosed.
Why I trusted one signal and overruled another.
The low that happened yesterday, and what it made me do this morning.
The judgment that came before the dose, and the reason the correct choice was not obvious.
Both columns describe the same morning. Only one of them survives into the dataset.
Diagnosis, age eleven.
Glass syringes, urine testing, and almost no feedback until it was too late to act on it.
The photograph.
A boy on a dock in Miami Beach appears in the Canadian Diabetes Association Newsletter. Charles Best is in the same issue.
Home blood testing.
For the first time a number arrives in the room while there is still something to be done about it.
Pumps.
Delivery changes. The cognitive work of deciding does not.
Continuous monitoring.
Physiology becomes visible in real time, and the absence of context becomes conspicuous.
Clinical AI.
Systems learn from records that still cannot represent why a person acted.
Essays, features and peer-reviewed work in The New York Times, The Globe and Mail, STAT News, The Missouri Review, Diabetes Care, Diabetes Technology & Therapeutics, Intima at Columbia, Smithsonian Folklife, Minyan Magazine and Chicken Soup for the Soul.
When Lindy Saved My Life
Finalist for the Jeffrey E. Smith Editors' Prize. A greyhound, a body that does not announce what it needs, and the night it did.
What My Continuous Glucose Monitor Can Never Capture
The published version of the argument the memoir makes in scenes.
Breathing Felt Like Betrayal
Tiny Love Stories.
Stories from the Spiral
New essays on Type 1 diabetes, ADHD, memory, grief, Jewish life and the dogs who keep turning up in the middle of all of it. Free, and sent when there is something worth sending.
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